“When Your Patronus Is a Pit Bull (And Other True Stories)”
There’s a moment in every witch or wizard’s life when they realize their magical identity doesn’t quite match the brochure.
You practice for weeks. You chant. You visualize noble stags, wise owls, majestic thestrals…
And then—whoosh—out bursts a squatty, wiggly, tongue-lolling pit bull with a chew toy in its mouth.
Turns out, your soul isn’t a mythical creature.
It’s Mabel. Who once ate your wand (the cheap plastic one, thank Merlin).
And honestly? That’s kind of perfect.
Because magic isn’t just about grand towers and prophecy—it’s about loyalty that shows up at 3 a.m., courage that barks at the mailman, and unconditional love that forgives you for using their bed as a writing desk.
This, dear reader, is why we made the “My Patronus Is a Pit Bull” sweatshirt.
Not as a joke—but as a badge of honor for those whose magic is messy, mighty, and deeply, wonderfully real.
It’s also why our upcoming activity book, Familiar Files: A Guide to Fantasy Pets (and the Humans They Tolerate), includes a whole chapter on “Canine Conjurers.” (Spoiler: they’re all adopted.)
So if your inner light looks less like a phoenix and more like a dog who steals socks…
Wear it proudly.
Write about it.
And maybe—just maybe—let them nap on your latest manuscript.
After all, the best stories aren’t written in silence.
They’re typed one-handed… while gently untangling a leash from a wand stand.
—
P.S. The “My Patronus Is a Pit Bull” tee comes in heather grey and black. Mittens has approved both. (She napped on the proof prints.)
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